Alustrium - A Monument To Silence [Full Album 2021]

​Lyrics to A Monument To Silence [Full Album 2021] by Alustrium

Tracklist: 01. The Hollow Ache Alone Within my thoughts Reflecting On all I've said and done Never once Have I felt satisfied Never again Will I even try Anger, frustration Emotions flare and seethe Hands are shaking, filled with rage Betrayal from loved ones Real or fiction wound the same These feelings and this thinking Though unwarranted, undeserved Lead to a place familiar Back to my well of pain As the initial shock of the pain fades away These cuts, these punctures, these bruises Dissolve to a hollow ache And the cycle continues The finger's pointed but the blame remains Digging deeper within me just causes the world itself to fade Colors draining My eyes go cold and gray As I withdraw within The ground beneath me starts to sink As I am moving forward Led deep into the garden Led to a place familiar Back to my well of pain I know this place and why I'm here All too well, guilt and shame The center of the issues at hand The center and the source of my hollow ache And self pity, it beckons Despite all I do it won't shake away The more that I rationalize these thoughts the more they seem to inflame And the cycle continues The finger's pointed but the blame remains Digging deeper within me just causes the world itself to fade The cycle of dwelling It repeats, it replays My hatred of my own mind Upcycles and unravels Self hatred and self loathing Have become second nature I'm learning to accept now That this is good for no one Break wide open Resolve to rid those who've been inflicted with me Of this plague out of shame And self pity, it beckons Despite all I do it won't shake away The more that I rationalize these thoughts the more they seem to inflame And the cycle continues The finger's pointed but the blame remains Digging deeper within me just causes the world itself to fade And the world opened up And I gazed into blackness And I looked all around me And saw nothing but gray I looked into myself And found I matched the darkness With not another thought I dove into my well of pain 02. Join The Dead Falling head over heels in pain Wondering what could have led to this mistake Black washes over me I cannot see, this cannot be Yet I know what I have done Can’t take this back, I am to blame No, this was not my fault What of my friends or family? What’d they do to deserve this Neglected me, felt only a passive love for me I refuse to believe This so called life was not Just passing time until the end Choose based on others’ choices Live based on others’ morals Failure to follow suit Leads only to painful punishment I chose instead to join the dead I hear them calling me I won’t be fooled, they never cared Never Ignore the plethora of Sweet nothings and hollow offers Quiet Respond with catatonic Blank stares, false smiles Fall Become enraptured with This endless void I’ve now joined Keep falling until timeless sleep I refuse to believe This so called life was not Just passing time until the end Choose based on others’ choices Live based on others’ morals Failure to follow suit Leads only to painful punishment I chose instead to join the dead As I continue To fall into the black I’m so surprised To find I haven’t died A glance overhead Reveals a far off light I now suspect This may not be the end Flung into the void Must I now sow what I’ve reaped? Am I now fated to fall forevermore? Is this the end or the beginning? Tumbling again and again and again Hurtling towards an unknown destination Crash landing, terra firma Breathing dark air, seeing nothing Hearing harsh screaming Of unknown and yet close origin Breathless and broken Blameless and beaten Loss of consciousness Tunneling vision Red pain and choked tears Freed now at last Like so many fallen stars Forgotten once moments passed This shambling withered husk Joins the dead As I no longer Fall into the black This lifeless body Rests on the cold hard earth It finds no comfort In such a dreamless sleep Laying in gentle repose As all the others weep I refuse to believe This so called life was not Just passing time until the end Choose based on others’ choices Live based on others’ morals Failure to follow suit Leads only to painful punishment I chose instead to join the dead 03. Hunted 04. The Accuser 05. The Plea 06. Dreamless Sleep 07. Blood For Blood 08. Deliverance For The Damned A world of color returns Feeling of warmth renewed Senses return to what they once were prior to Joining the dead here in this place Start to remember something other than pain Euphoria calls Go down to ascend Medicated bliss Rapture is achieved And just maybe the answer is not To wait for help but go and find it This introduction to madness seems to have cured And filled the hollow space within me I’ve been looking for a way to Remember who I once was Mask the pain and overflow Take the reins by giving in Self-inflicted liberty Tastes so sweet, like liquid mirth Hold on tight or lose control And spiral out and slip away Drunken, drugged up, splendid ecstasy I’m alive For the first time in so long Invincible, immaculate and free from everything That dragged me down like tons of brick A sensational new emotion to abuse And just maybe the truth of it all Is I chose to feel this pain within In mania, depressed me seems a fool As I fill this hollow space within me I’ve been looking for a way to Remember who I once was Mask the pain and overflow Take the reins by giving in Self-inflicted liberty Tastes so sweet, like liquid mirth Hold on tight or lose control And spiral out and slip away Panicked, terror-stricken ecstasy Once again lose what’s me The grip on my sanity is loosened As the pain flows freely from my lips And through this body until I am free Consciousness is pulled back, now see the body from afar as it stumbles Making the same mistake again on repeat, each time feeling better yet worse With a sick satisfaction I drown myself in the poison that numbs yet exacerbates Each second that passes brings closer the nauseated comfort that I crave Time melts Behind me is loss, before is the same I shake, I quiver, I fall Behind me is loss, before is the same I bow, I bend, I break I am now nothing Just a pile of firing nerves Whose synapses flare, and only crave more There’s no solace in this fleeting break This euphoric reprieve No deliverance for the damned I’ve been looking I’ve been looking for a way to Remember who I once was Mask the pain and overflow Take the reins by giving in Self-inflicted liberty Tastes so sweet, like liquid mirth Hold on tight or lose control And spiral out and slip away 09. Worthless Offers 10. A Monument To Silence